Those Final Steps

Ha! What a difference a month makes!

The "2 books at a time" thing just didn't work for me. As soon as I got one movie going in my head, the other movie would intrude. Kind of like sitting a theater and you're all intent on the movie in front of you, then you hear the action scene from the movie in the next theater and you start to wonder what's happening.

I put one book aside (Pried) and focused on Whole instead. This is my Alice in Wonderland book, and just like Alice, I feel like I fell down the rabbit hole and ended up in a strange new world. The book turned out to be crazy and chaotic, but that's what I was aiming for (or so I tell myself).

The movie really started playing and now I'm writing the final scene in the book. I want to wrap it up today, let it sit for a day, go back and assemble and re-read, then Monday I'll dig back in and start working on Pried.

Maybe I need to complain about writing more often! It seems it gave me a real kick in the butt, at least for this book.

The Book List

I am too busy to read for enjoyment any more.

There. I've said it. I'm an author who doesn't read fiction. Truth be told, a lot of the enjoyment has gone out of fiction reading because I find myself critiquing the book, or I skim it to see where the plot is going, or I wonder how the hell that author managed to sell the book and hit a best-seller list (grr).

So I've been keeping a list of books to read when I quit writing. Yes, I assume that day will come, when I lay down my pen and say "that's it." I used to feel bad about how BIG that list has become (it's long, people. Really long). I always had a vague feeling that I should be making an attempt to read those books and stay current.

Then I had an epiphany. Seriously.

I remember when my mother was in her final years, a lot of activity had been removed from her because of physical problems. All that really remained was reading and television.

VOILA! I will have a never-ending list of books to read when that time comes, when I can no longer golf or go for long walks or type or whatever.

RELIEF. Seriously, RELIEF.

Now my only question: do I buy the books now (so I have them on hand) or do I hope they'll still be available either digitally or print when that time comes, 20 or so years from now (I hope!)

??

Nature Girl versus the Spider King

From time to time, I've written stories about Nature Girl (my alias). I wrote this one years ago, but in honor of the gynormous spider I stomped today, I bring you this blast from the past ....



NATURE GIRL vs. THE SPIDER KING


As all who know her know, Nature Girl has a Universal CARP: a Capture And Release Program. All creatures, great and small, are not killed, but are, rather, scooped up and relocated from the house (or wherever they are causing the annoyance) and deposited elsewhere.

All creatures, that is, who are not huge, menacing, and of the arachnid family. 

Arachnids from Hell are killed.

Early one morning, Nature Girl got up at her usual (godawful) hour, the moonlight streaming in her windows. She tucked her feet into her Genuine Maxine Bunny Slippers with floppy ears, dragged on the worn and ratty bathrobe (worn and ratty because the cats sleep on it and pound it into oblivion with sharp claws) over the old T-shirt she habitually wears to bed, and stumbled about the house doing Morning Ablutions. The Spousal Unit slept on, blissfully undisturbed. Keep in mind that the time is, approximately, 4:10 a.m. and because it is the Great Frozen Northland, it's chilly  because the furnace has just kicked back on after a night at rest.  It doesn't matter that it is the end of April; there is snow on the ground. And more snow in the forecast.

The cats, as was their wont, gently herded Nature Girl to the kitchen, but no Good Food (a.k.a., that enjoyed by felines) was to be had. So they herded her to the basement laundry room, home of Good Food, home of food such as Tuna Treat, and Turkey Kibble, and Seafood Feast. NG stumbled across the laundry room, scooped up two big kibble scoops from the kibble bin, turned, and saw

    The Spider King


(a switch in POV here. Sorry)

In the middle of the small throw rug (made by my own hands, I might add). I must have stepped over it (blessedly) on my bleary way to the kibble cache. There it sat. Or, rather, there it crouched. Menacing. Waving arms at me (multiple arms). Black. Large. Hairy (ok, maybe not hairy, but BIG). No exaggeration BIG. With the legs, at least 4" big. Noticeably BIG on an attractive pastel rug, crocheted by my own hands. Hell, it made the rug look small.

For those of you who are Hobbit fans, it was the Shelob of spiders, but unlike Bilbo, I didn't have a sword named Sting to help me (hell, I didn't even have a skinny white rock star named Sting to help me). No, all I had was a 3 oz. can of Fancy Feast, a broken iron, and bunny slippers. Soft bunny slppers. This thing looked like it had a carapace. Maybe if I had a 3-iron, a titanium 3-wood, or a bazooka, I might approach closer, but bunny slippers? No way.

As I stared in horror at the monstrosity, Scooter, the smallest (and the sweetest) of the cats, approached, yawning. Oh, look, she seemed to say. A large menacing thing on the rug, waving multiple arms and making Angry Fists. Obviously put there so I can prove my worth as a mighty hunter. I will stalk.  I will wiggle my butt. I will attack. I will feed because my human is standing there, clutching two full kibble scoops to her bosom, terrified and frozen in place and obviously incapable of providing food this morning.

The body of the spider was bigger than her paw. Images of a fast visit to the veterinary emergency room flashed through my brain; images of Scooter, choking on spider poison, flashed through my brain; images of a huge Visa bill flashed through my brain. That was all it took. I was galvanized into action.

Grabbing a handy empty fish bucket (actually, it began life as a 40-lb kitty litter container, but then graduated to fish bucketness), I advanced on the Creature, saying to Scooter in a shrill yet strangely calm voice, "Get out of here, Scoots!" The cat, startled by this sign of life from me so early in the morning, oddly obeyed.

I slammed the bucket down on the spider, open side up, and heard a slight <oof> as I bolted past the thing, leaping once into the air as I thought I felt the sly touch of a black ?paw? ?leg? feeler?. I felt a brief tug of despair at the thought of the (quite probably) ruined throw rug, but, heck, I never liked that crochet pattern anyway, and I was woman enough to let the feeling go. I was also scared enough.

Then I filled the bucket with anything that came to hand. I wanted to fill it with water, but I wasn't going to drag the bucket/spider combo over to the sink and let it get close to me. So I stood a few feet away and tossed items into the bucket: a cordless power drill, a can of room deodorizer, a plastic container of Cheer, a small ceramic flower pot, and, to top it off, once I was sure it was safe, I balanced the used kitty litter container on top, with three days worth of kitty output from three kitties. Even so, I could swear I saw the bucket move as the Thing tried to throw off its oppressor.  Then I did what any self-respecting arachniphobic would do.

I left a message for the Spousal Unit and told him to clean up the body.

I knew his scientific curiosity would be aroused anyway, and he *might* notice the bucket full of power tools and oddments in the basement, topped by the used kitty litter, so I thought I should warn him.  Keep in mind, this is the guy who tenderly saved the World's Biggest Wasp Nest for dissection (after the wasps were gone, of course). A Spider as Big As the Ritz would be right up his alley. A slightly flattened Spider as Big as the Ritz, that is.

Advice to all: after tussling with the World's Biggest Spider, plan on feeling nervous. Sit down.  Relax.  Allow your blood pressure to return to normal. And don't leap back in surprise when you think you see something in your shower.

You will fall down and bruise yourself.

<sigh>

It's Alive....!

I'm an App!


Yes, I've done it. I have an App on the iTunes store and on Android. Do a search for J L Wilson, and I'm there -- and I'm free!

I didn't do the work, of course. Someone else did the work behind the scenes, but I designed my little logo, I uploaded the content (yikes! I've got a lot of books!).

Check it out -- and for God's sake, if you find a typo, tell me!

I think I'm good to go ...

... so to speak.

I heard back from the lawyer I consulted regarding the Oz book. If you'll recall, I was worried that I might be violating some obscure copyright provision or something. I also wanted feedback on my plans to do more books based on Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh, Alice in Wonderland, etc.

Turns out that Pooh is out. Disney owns Pooh, lock, stock & barrel. I'm not going to tangle with Disney. So Woulds is going to be re-tasked as a non-Pooh tale. Ditto Lassie. I'm not going to tangle with the studio who owns the rights to the TV show. It's too hard to distinguish between the book (which will enter Public Domain status this year) and the show. So Dogged will be retasked as a non-Lassie book.

That leaves me Little Women, Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland. I think I can find some characters from those books to use. Pan is tentatively titled Flyer, and it's about an ad executive. I think. Stay tuned. You'll hear more about it as I write it.

So for now, I'm going back to Woulds and am re-doing it. Then I'll return to the Endless American Dream series (I'm on Book 2: yay! One more book to go in Volume 1. Three volumes total.).

After that I'll do Dogged.

After that I might take a break ....

I am practicing what I preach!

Yep, I'm writing "in between".

Let's see, what am I between right now? Health issues (chronic, recurring pain of a mysterious origin). Physical therapy and chiropractic help, sort of, short-term. So I've had a lot of sleepless nights.

Husband's physical issues. Back pain. First time for him (I'm an old hand at back pain), so he's having some problems.

House hunting in another state. This involves narrowing down the search to a specific area, helping husband job hunt, working with realtor, then prepping our house for sale, and financing, and... lots.

Work. Yes. I work full-time.

Prepping books for re-issue on Kindle, etc. The first one will, hopefully, go up this weekend.

And in between all that? I finished one manuscript and want to go back & proof another that I finished in January so I can upload it to Kindle. Maybe. Or maybe submit to my 'real publisher'. Add that to my list of things to consider...

So you see, it can be done. It ain't easy, but it can be done.

Because of all that (above) I haven't kicked off this blog the way I want to. It's going to stay a Work in Progress until I either (1) find a new home (2) get books uploaded and have a chance to take a breather or (3) resolve some health issues. Those are the Biggies on my Plate right now. If I can slip one of 'em off, something else can come on.

Stay tuned. It's going to be interesting ...

Plateau Theory of Authorship

When I was getting started trying to write for publication, I realized that there were 'levels' of competency or levels of knowledge I needed in order to succeed.

For example, when I first started, I thought all I had to do was tell a story and that would make it a readable work. Then I learned about "show, don't tell" and that idea went out the door. Then I learned about character arcs, and plot points, and ... I soon realized that each level built on the last until I reached a level of Publication.

I think the same thing applies for published authors.

• Whoa: these are people who are published but you ask yourself, "How? How did that book make it onto a shelf?" Maybe they were published with a smaller company with poor editing. Maybe they paid to have their work published (so-called 'vanity publishing'). But Whoa Authors are those that make you wince when you read their books.
• Okay: These are people who produce good but not particularly memorable works. They may have a few typos, a few plot holes, but overall, it's a competently produced book.
• Good: These are authors who have a modest fan base and who churn out good books on a somewhat regular basis. They have a market presence that's identifiable and they often have books that make one list or another.
• Yeah!: These are authors who are an auto-buy for many fans. They seldom disappoint their readers and they turn out, on a regular basis, books that are eagerly anticipated. They can switch genres and loyal fans will follow them.
• Wow: These are the authors who write the can't-put-it-down books. The books fly off the shelves and are buzzed about around the coffee pot. That may be due to the quality of the writing, the plot, or the marketing, but for whatever reason, the book is the Hit of the Season.

Not all authors are Wow authors. Some authors have one or two Wow books in a lifetime. Some have them a lot (James Patterson. Nora Roberts). Is that due to a better quality of book than a Yeah Author's book? I'm not convinced of that.  For many readers, familiarity is what sells -- they know exactly what they'll get when they pick up a Nora Roberts book, for example.

And it truly is all a matter of perception. To some people, Nicholas Sparks is a Wow writer. To others he's an Okay Author.

I tell people in my classes that you have to define success for yourself. For some people (the Whoa Author, perhaps), it's success enough to have a book published. For a Wow Author, it means making a sales list somewhere. And in today's changing publishing world, I think it's more true than ever:

Decide for yourself what success means. Don't allow it to be dictated by arbitrary lists (hey -- like the one above, maybe?) Know for yourself where to improve to achieve that success. And when you achieve it -- relax for a minute and enjoy the hell out of it.

You earned it.

What -- you don't have enough to do?

Yep, starting another blog. Why?

I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "How do you do it? How do you work full-time, have a family and home life, and write -- almost full-time."

I write "in between." I write in-between everything else there is to do. How do I do that?

That's what I'm going to blog about. And I'm hoping I'll get other folks to chime in and give me their tips, too.

But for now, while I get organized, just relax. Enjoy the calm, pretty background on my blog. I'm not sure where you're living, but where I am, it's cold, snowy, and gray. So breathe deeply, relax, and pretend we have all the time in the world to enjoy a warm, sunny day.

Okay. Long enough. Get back to work.